"I Just Love You Too Much"
Padme bit her lower lip nervously as she knocked Obi Wan's chamber door. She needed speak with him...end this silly fight that had gone of for days. End the guilt the racked her conscience. But most of all she just wanted her friend back.
Fidgeting with the worn shawl that covered her barely showing stomach, Padme waited of her Jedi protector to swing open his door and welcome her with open arms. But like most things people in vision, that simply didn't happen. Rather the door stayed motionless and the room it closed of was still covered in the same thick silence as before.
Her porcelain fist began to pound furiously on the door.
"Obi Wan please!" Padme's shaky voice pleaded with him. "Please speak to me!" But there was still dead silence.
A lump of despair formed in her throat as she backed away from the door, back slamming into the wall. The one she needed to be they're the most, her mainstay Obi Wan Kenobi didn't even care anymore.
Horror began to sweep over Padme when she heard the simplest buy loveliest sound in the galaxy. The sound of a door opening. Before she could let Obi Wan to change his mind, Padme swiftly entered the small dark room closing the door with a thud.
"Obi Wan?" Her soft voice questioned as she scanned the room. But she couldn't see him; she could barely see anything with only the moon's reflection lighting the moon. "Where are you?"
"Here." Padme heard his raspy tone coming from the window. Hesitantly, she made her way towards the window. And as she got close to him she saw the Jedi Knight with sad eyes, standing there in the pale moonlight.
"Obi Wan I-"
"Ani use to love the night sky. I remember when he was younger he would stare longingly up into space for hours." Obi Wan recalled as he looked out the window. A faint smile danced his lips but his gray orbs still held pain. "He never got bored of that great world up their, I suppose because he knew that one day his greatness would challenge that of the night."
Obi Wan smile faded as he turned away from the stars and looked upon Padme's delicate face. "Every moment of everyday I blame myself for Anakin's fall. There isn't a second when I don't think 'I should have died that day on Naboo. Qui-Gon should have trained Anakin; he could have kept him on the right path...Qui-Gon could have saved him. Things could have been so much different, so much better...'"
Obi Wan paused for a moment, and for the first time in many years, Padme caught a glimpse of something written all over his face that made her insides shudder. It was a childlike, almost primitive sort of misery. It was as if he had lost all his mental and physical strength, and now he was no more than frightened young Padawan.
"And I loathe myself for living, Padme. I loath myself because I know it all my fault. Everything from-" Before he could finish Obi Wan words became choked with a cry. Letting his legs give out, he let his body slide to the icy floor as he sobbed.
"No Obi Wan, it's not your fault." Padme cooed taking his shaking body into her arms. "None of this is. If it is anyone's fault it's that bastards Palpatine. You did nothing wrong, you were a good master."
"But what about the things you said?" Obi Wan whimpered into her brown velvet curls.
"I didn't mean what I said. I was upset and I said things I didn't mean Obi Wan. I don't hate you, you're my best friend." Padme said firmly but gentle as she cradled him in her arms. Soon after her declaration his moans of pain subsided, and he just allowed himself to sink into her arms as the silver light glowed around them. He was at peace now... even if it was only for a little while.
Pulling back from the hug just a little Padme let her eyes fall on Obi Wan's worn but handsome face. And for one brief second, she almost saw her husband instead of his former master. He reminded her so much of her Ani...
In a moment of desperation and longing, Padme kissed him passionately.
And Obi Wan kissed her back just as passionately.
But then he jerked away suddenly, fumbling awkwardly out of the embrace. Backing away he cried out, "I can't! I can't!"
"No... please..." Padme pleaded reaching out for his rough tender hands. "I need you..."
"No Padme... I can't" Obi Wan breathlessly replied as he regained his sense. "I can't kiss you and be with you when I know I'm not the one your thinking of..."
Padme just sat their, her chestnut eyes transfixed on his.
"I wish I could...but I can't play second best... I just won't."
Her lips began to quiver.
"I just love you too much... I wish I didn't... but I just do..."
Tears began to swell in her almond shaped as she watched his strong figure get up from the floor and head for the door.
"I just love you too much..."
Sobbing Padme hid her head in her hands so she wouldn't have to watch him walk away from her once again under the light of the moon.